Three bold predictions for every NFL team in 2008

[SteelerinMD]

By Tom Curran

Baltimore Ravens
1. Ray Rice rushes for more yards than Willis McGahee.

2. Signs of significant slippage appear all over the Ravens once-proud defense.

3. They'll finish 5-11 and miss the playoffs again.

Cincinnati Bengals
1. A chaotic offseason leads to a chaotic regular season.

2. The Bengals begin the season 1-8. An ailing Chad Johnson doesn't help the cause.

3. Marvin Lewis coaches his last season in Cincy.


Cleveland Browns
1. Between adding Donte Stallworth on offense and Shaun Rogers to the defense, Phil Savage gets support for Executive of the Year.

2. Brady Quinn gets more time under center than anyone intended, as Derek Anderson’s preseason injuries carry over into the regular season.

3. Despite winning the division, the Browns find themselves with a full-fledged QB controversy as Quinn’s performances make him a reasonable option.



Pittsburgh Steelers
1. If it weren’t for the pitiful Ravens and Bengals, the Steelers would've made an even louder thud in the AFC North.

2. Ben Roethlisberger has a Pro Bowl season and puts up gaudy numbers but the sudden ineptitude of the Pittsburgh defense makes that a necessity.

3. It becomes clear that Willie Parker’s 75-yard touchdown run in Super Bowl XL was the height of his career, not a sign of things to come.



All other teams... http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/26460287/?pg=18#spt_nfl_bold_predix_2008

[FistfullofRings]

Two things:

1. What is the worst our defense has ever been under Dick LeBeau, and why would it suddenly become inept?

2. Wasn't Willie Parker's Super Bowl TD run three season's ago and hasn't he played pretty well since then?

[Idioteque]

1. What is the worst our defense has ever been under Dick LeBeau

http://www.nfl.com/gamecenter?game_id=29411&displayPage=tab_gamecenter&season=2007&week=REG15

[Coryea]

LMAO, the Super Bowl season was 3 years ago, Parker was leading the NFL in rushing last season when he got hurt, still finished 4th while missing two games, has averaged 4.4 yards per carry over his career, has 16 100 yard games since the Super Bowl, and has averaged 1405 yards per season over the past two seasons.
He was dead on with that prediction.

[Jaiyeson]

Where do I apply to get his job?

[Steelerman]

Sunday night in week 2 can't come soon enough.

[Steelerman]

Oh, and here's another fabulous article by Mr. Curran:

Ready to soar: Eagles will win Super Bowl XLIII

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/26502243/

[1st & 10]

The only thud I hear is this guys predictions.

[LeXX75]

you know the old ....opinion's are like assholes everyone has one...thinking this guy is one as well..

[Aries1247]

You know what this guy would love? If all of us wrote to him & told him what a jerk he is. Yeah, that'll show 'em... oh wait, that's probably what he was going for anyway.

In another couple years this guy will have a cookie-cutter-Around The Horn tv show with a bunch of other 'writers' that yell how clueless the other guy's opinion is.

[Steelr4evr]

I really don't know how some of these guys find work. All I can really think about is thumping that guy in the head.

[Aries1247]

& on another note, using this guy's 'logic'....

The Rats finish 5-11, the Bungles start 1-8, so say, they finish, what, 3-13, 4-12? & if it isn't for them, we would be the 'suck' of our division? Yet our QB would still make the Pro Bowl? So we would have to be 5-11 & a bit better but not a winning team, maybe not even get to 8-8?

How many QBs from an under .500 team ever go to the ProBowl, just wondering.

[nattybohfiend]

I don't see what's so bold. He's saying that the Ravens and Bengals will suck and the Browns do great. That's every talking head in the league right now.

[Drac 58]

This guy calls these bold predicitons. BAH! Here are some bold predictions:


Baltimore Ravens

1. Mid-way through the 2008 campaign, Baltimore fans are shocked as Flacco leaves the team to play Willy Lomax in an off-Broadway musical version of Death of a Salesman.

2. In the midst of a week12 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles, Ray Lewis will accidently shut the fuck up.

3. Not being able to overhype the Raven’s aging defense, at least 2 CBS color commentators will lose their jobs as minutes of dead air pile up between the time the Ravens’ offense goes 3 and out and comes back on the field.

Cleveland Browns
1.The trouble begins for the Browns when the fan wearing the Three-Headed Dog Mask is tragically struck and killed as he chases after a three-headed poodle in heat.

2.Just hours before a Monday Night Showdown with the Bills, Kellen Winslow Jr. is lost for the season as he attempts to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel. When asked later if he feels like he let his teammates down for doing something so risky he replies “Nah, they know I’m a dumbass.”

3.Romeo Crennel is taken into police custody after accidently eats three fellow patrons of Capn’ Bellows All You Can Eat Buffet located in the Cleveland flats.

Cincinnati Bengals
1.Not wanting to be outdone by Chad Ocho Cinco, Chris Henry legally changes his name to his nickname- The People Vs Chris Henry. Jersey sales will remain luke warm.

2.Carson Palmer finally finds himself in legal trouble as he is sued by acclaimed porn director “Really Big” Mike Lencavage for using the phrase “Cornhole Classic” in a business venture.

3.Mike Brown announces that Marvin Lewis has forfeited his opportunity to coach the Cleaveland Browns at the conclusion of the season. Lewis is rehired two weeks later.

Pittsburgh Steelers
1.Starting week one, Bruce Arians unleashes a new offense wrinkle were Roethlisberger automatically falls flat on his back after the snap and throws from that position. Arians says “this new offense saves the few precious nanoseconds Ben has to get rid of the ball” and allows Ben to “avoid a lot of the pummeling he’s sure to receive. It’s play call is STARKS! FLOUNDER! BATTERY!

2.After completing an Impressive 21 yard run, rookie Rashard Mendenhall holds onto the ball all the way to ground and is signaled down before without fumbling.

3.On October 19th, for 1 minute and 43 seconds in the third quarter of their divisional game against the Bengals, there will be no Steelers fan in the world who believes that they know how to coach better than Mike Tomlin. That will come to a shattering halt on the next play with a Mendenhall fumble deep in Cincinnati territory.

[DaSwitz]

2.Just hours before a Monday Night Showdown with the Bills, Kellen Winslow Jr. is lost for the season as he attempts to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel. When asked later if he feels like he let his teammates down for doing something so risky he replies “Nah, they know I’m a dumbass.”

LOL! I thought you said bold statements. This one looks highly feasible to me.

[titus]

This guy calls these bold predicitons. BAH! Here are some bold predictions:


[Cincinnati Bengals
1.Not wanting to be outdone by Chad Ocho Cinco, Chris Henry legally changes his name to his nickname- The People Vs Chris Henry. Jersey sales will remain luke warm.



I laughed so hard I almost peed when I read that...

[markymarc]

Sunday night in week 2 can't come soon enough.

No kidding.

[Steelerman58]

Cincinnati Bengals
1.Not wanting to be outdone by Chad Ocho Cinco, Chris Henry legally changes his name to his nickname- The People Vs Chris Henry. Jersey sales will remain luke warm.


Very fucking funny!!

[Steelerman58]

Not so bold predictions

Cleveland: Same old sorry ass Browneyes. Brady Quinn arrested for male prostitution.

Cincinnati: Same old sorry ass Bungholes. Chris Henry shares cell with Quinn. Proposes marriage to Quinn.

Baltimore: Same old sorry ass Ratbirds. Ray Ray misses entire season, leads league in tackles.

[Jaiyeson]

One bold prediction for this guy:

He won't have a job in 2009.







Okay maybe that's not so bold.

[FistfullofRings]

By Tom Curran

3. It becomes clear that Willie Parker’s 75-yard touchdown run in Super Bowl XL was the height of his career, not a sign of things to come.

I wonder if he's standing by this prediction today - two-and-a-half years after that run?