Oh man, i can't wait to hear this!!!!! (Winslow) [Archive]

Ski_Alta

10-10-2008, 03:29 AM

NFL Notebook: Browns' Winslow visits doctor
Unspecified illness dogs Cleveland's TE
Friday, October 10, 2008
The Associated Press

The Cleveland Browns sent tight end Kellen Winslow to the doctor yesterday for tests after he missed his second consecutive day of practice with an unspecified illness.

Browns coach Romeo Crennel said Winslow, who has been plagued by injuries throughout his NFL career, has been sick for two days. Crennel would not say if Winslow would play Monday night against the New York Giants.

"He's a valuable piece to the puzzle we have," Crennel said. "I know that he'll want to play, so he'll do everything he can to be able to play."

Crennel would not elaborate on Winslow's condition or disclose any medical problems.

"Not until after doctors take look at him and see if they can know what it is," he said.

Magic Johnson flu-like symptoms anyone?

DerbyCityBNGfan

10-10-2008, 05:07 AM

most likely a staph infection...

Ski_Alta

10-10-2008, 05:25 AM

haha!
yea..wtf was i thinking? it is cleveland...home of the s.i.

CaptainJack

10-10-2008, 08:05 AM

most likely a staph infection...

Funny, my first thought was early onset menopause.

markymarc

10-10-2008, 08:45 AM

I heard about this last night. Very interesting. Can't wait to hear the doctor's results.

GoSteelers

10-10-2008, 10:36 AM

that staph infection shit is serious, a Osceola county football was infected and didn't seek treatment fast enough and died and another kid also has it, but got fast treatment and is ok.

Pilz

10-10-2008, 01:17 PM

that staph infection **** is serious, a Polk county football was infected and didn't seek treatment fast enough and died and another kid also has it, but got fast treatment and is ok.

Greg Lloyd would probably agree with you.

mesaSteeler

10-10-2008, 01:29 PM

Why is anyone surprised about a staph infection? Wasn't their locker room flooded with raw sewage last year? Sounds like it still is. Opps, sorry those are the Browns players floating around.

Iron Maiden

10-10-2008, 01:31 PM

Whatever it is, he's probably out for the year as he's on one of my fantasy teams. I'm a player killer this year.

Steelerz99

10-10-2008, 01:55 PM

Some info,....
Staphylococcus is group of bacteria, familiarly known as Staph (pronounced "staff"), that can cause a multitude of diseases as a result of infection of various tissues of the body. Staph bacteria can cause illness not only directly by infection (such as in the skin), but also indirectly by producing toxins responsible for food poisoning and <b>toxic shock syndrome</b>. Staph-related illness can range from mild and requiring no treatment to severe and potentially fatal.

Your answer is in bold... he left his tampon in overnight.

tdub88

10-10-2008, 02:33 PM

He's in the hospital now according to Fox sports.

BermudaSteel

10-10-2008, 02:39 PM

Balls&YourWord

10-10-2008, 02:46 PM

The thread reasoning for getting deleted was pretty damn funny, hehe...

But as for this story goes, it's not hard to figure out. You have a team literally named after crap, you know, the stuff that comes out of your butt. That's what they're named after. And then their locker room was literally flooded with crap at some point last year, perhaps as a tribute to a winning season or something, I don't know. It's not hard to figure out why all these guys are getting sick.

Smooth Criminal

10-10-2008, 02:47 PM

Super Dave

10-10-2008, 02:52 PM

Damn Butters, you just can't shoot a guy in the dick.

Spike

10-10-2008, 03:09 PM

A league source tells us that the talk among the Browns is that tight end Kellen Winslow landed in the Cleveland Clinic because his balls swelled to the size of grapefruits.

A double-hydrocele?

Better ask Dave.

Max Power

10-10-2008, 04:00 PM

USA Today is carrying the rumor:

A league source tells Profootballtalk.com that Kellen Winslow's "unspecified illness" is swollen testicles.

Que: AC/DC...

Ski_Alta

10-10-2008, 04:11 PM

Not funny Ski. This is this man's life and how he makes his living.

I know he's on a rival team; but, sheeesh - let's at least find out what the diagnosis is before we joke about it...

I'll say a prayer, at least, for his life.

really?
there is a specified protocol for ragging on other players?
yeah...THAT'S followed around here. if it's not funny to you...don't laugh. in fact...to take it one step further, i don't wish death on the guy but to be honest...i couldn't care less either way.

in the meantime get my 500 that you'll never pay up on ready

Idioteque

10-10-2008, 04:15 PM

Ski_Alta

10-10-2008, 04:33 PM

i approve this message

Dear Jesus, Allah, Buddah, Mohammed,

Are you there supreme being? It's me Bermuda Steel and my stepbrother Idioteque. I know we don't talk to you nearly as much as we used to and it seems we're only speaking to you when something terrible has already or is about to happen but this time...This time I wanted to get to you real quick and just let you know. There is a football player I know, that football player's name is Kellen Winslow Jr. Now this football player has led somewhat of a rough life, he's had to fight through many many difficult trials and tribulations. He does after all have his father's name as well as plays the same position as dear old dad. He is thought of as a somewhat brash young football player who in all honesty hasn't actually accomplished anything other than being drafted. He enjoys comparing himself to a true american hero and rises above despite the fact that Vols have tried to kill him in the past. <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3X60mrYO1UU&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3X60mrYO1UU&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> He loves doing wheelies on his motorcycle and brings a general "swagger" to the field in spite of never having actually accomplished anything..Say what you want about Junior but we just wanted to take this time to pray for him and hope that you guide him through this difficult time. We both really enjoy praying in our spare time and since we're fresh out of actual issues and things that truly matter and since we know you aren't actually busy....
CAN YOU JUST SEE TO IT THAT KELLEN GETS WELL SOON?
thank you very much god, buddah, mohammed, it is something very important to all of us.

**** that, you guy's didn't sit down and say a little prayer, don't get overboard with your board morality now. it's far farrrr too late

CAH

10-10-2008, 04:39 PM

Whatever it is, he's probably out for the year as he's on one of my fantasy teams. I'm a player killer this year.
The NFL is going to order you to get the heck out of FF.

BermudaSteel

10-10-2008, 05:37 PM

really?
there is a specified protocol for ragging on other players?
yeah...THAT'S followed around here. if it's not funny to you...don't laugh. in fact...to take it one step further, i don't wish death on the guy but to be honest...i couldn't care less either way.

in the meantime get my 500 that you'll never pay up on ready

If you NEED the $500 that bad...send your address.

Personally, if my prediction is true---I don't think you'll be able to send the cash to me...so I considered it a write off already. I know what my bank account looks like...

'You could care less' - then why start this dopey thread?

Here's something else to add to your signature: Bermuda thinks you're an idiot most of the time.

Dgenx321

10-10-2008, 05:58 PM

Damn Butters, you just can't shoot a guy in the dick.

What the hell?? lol

leftcoaststeelerfan

10-10-2008, 06:02 PM

I love this board.....

Super Dave

10-10-2008, 06:24 PM

What the hell?? lol

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/o6pOdpk1NtI&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/o6pOdpk1NtI&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Ski_Alta

10-10-2008, 06:55 PM

If you NEED the $500 that bad...send your address.

Personally, if my prediction is true---I don't think you'll be able to send the cash to me...so I considered it a write off already. I know what my bank account looks like...

'You could care less' - then why start this dopey thread?

Here's something else to add to your signature: Bermuda thinks you're an idiot most of the time.

if you're going to quote me at least get the shit right

"COULDN'T care less" was actually what was said. when one COULD care less they actually do care about the topic. the saying is "couldn't care less". you know...COULDN'T as in could not.

talking about the huge bank account you have...i love that. not for nothing but... YOU actually were the one to start throwing around how you were putting up 1k on limas fucking sweed being a better pro than CJ. still feel that way? besides, shouldn't you be praying for the Solider?

markymarc

10-10-2008, 08:59 PM

So the latest word on Winslow is he has been in the hospital for 2 straight nights now. Of course nothing is still being released on his illness.

Big Fella

10-11-2008, 04:25 AM

So the latest word on Winslow is he has been in the hospital for 2 straight nights now. Of course nothing is still being released on his illness.

Although the speculation is he has huuuge balls.

kurtistb

10-11-2008, 11:01 AM

he must have drank too much of that V juice

Jmat

10-11-2008, 11:49 AM

I know its PFT but this is so worth posting.

A league source tells us that the talk among the Browns is that tight end Kellen Winslow landed in the Cleveland Clinic because his balls swelled to the size of grapefruits.

(We think that technical term is testiculus coconutus.)

Actually, one explanation for the situation is a condition known as hyrdocele. And while the condition in itself isn’t serious, it could be a symptom of testicular cancer.

And, yeah, I squirmed in my chair the entire time I typed this.

That could also be Torsion of the Testicle. The testicle twists on itself shutting off the blood supply and it hurts like a bitch. It's like getting kicked in the balls and the pain won't stop.
I had this when I was in my early 20's.

If left twisted too long a time the testicle will die.

Idioteque

10-11-2008, 12:04 PM

I know we don't talk to you nearly as much as we used to and it seems we're only speaking to you when something terrible has already or is about to happen

is that right?

This time I wanted to get to you real quick and just let you know. There is a football player I know, that football player's name is Kellen Winslow Jr. Now this football player has led somewhat of a rough life, he's had to fight through many many difficult trials and tribulations. He does after all have his father's name as well as plays the same position as dear old dad. He is thought of as a somewhat brash young football player who in all honesty hasn't actually accomplished anything other than being drafted. He enjoys comparing himself to a true american hero and rises above despite the fact that Vols have tried to kill him in the past. <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3X60mrYO1UU&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3X60mrYO1UU&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> He loves doing wheelies on his motorcycle and brings a general "swagger" to the field in spite of never having actually accomplished anything..Say what you want about Junior but we just wanted to take this time to pray for him and hope that you guide him through this difficult time. We both really enjoy praying in our spare time and since we're fresh out of actual issues and things that truly matter and since we know you aren't actually busy....
CAN YOU JUST SEE TO IT THAT KELLEN GETS WELL SOON?
thank you very much god, buddah, mohammed, it is something very important to all of us.

i know, hopefully he'll die or something!!!!!! HA!!! serves that LOSER right for playing for a team i hate!!!!

**** that, you guy's didn't sit down and say a little prayer, don't get overboard with your board morality now. it's far farrrr too late

i did.

Idioteque

10-11-2008, 12:07 PM

in fact...to take it one step further, i don't wish death on the guy but to be honest...i couldn't care less either way.

you say this like we should be impressed by it. a biiiiiiiiiig, big man boasting about the illness of a player from a team he doesn't like.

BermudaSteel

10-11-2008, 12:10 PM

Dear Jesus, Allah, Buddah, Mohammed,

Are you there supreme being? It's me Bermuda Steel and my stepbrother Idioteque. I know we don't talk to you nearly as much as we used to and it seems we're only speaking to you when something terrible has already or is about to happen but this time...This time I wanted to get to you real quick and just let you know. There is a football player I know, that football player's name is Kellen Winslow Jr. Now this football player has led somewhat of a rough life, he's had to fight through many many difficult trials and tribulations. He does after all have his father's name as well as plays the same position as dear old dad. He is thought of as a somewhat brash young football player who in all honesty hasn't actually accomplished anything other than being drafted. He enjoys comparing himself to a true american hero and rises above despite the fact that Vols have tried to kill him in the past. <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3X60mrYO1UU&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3X60mrYO1UU&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> He loves doing wheelies on his motorcycle and brings a general "swagger" to the field in spite of never having actually accomplished anything..Say what you want about Junior but we just wanted to take this time to pray for him and hope that you guide him through this difficult time. We both really enjoy praying in our spare time and since we're fresh out of actual issues and things that truly matter and since we know you aren't actually busy....
CAN YOU JUST SEE TO IT THAT KELLEN GETS WELL SOON?
thank you very much god, buddah, mohammed, it is something very important to all of us.

**** that, you guy's didn't sit down and say a little prayer, don't get overboard with your board morality now. it's far farrrr too late

Ha - I missed this one...

Thanks, Ski - you're constantly proving your stupid side; but, eh, God has humor---that's why he lets you live.:eek:

BermudaSteel

10-11-2008, 12:13 PM

you say this like we should be impressed by it. a biiiiiiiiiig, big man boasting about the illness of a player from a team he doesn't like.

Tech - don't forget, Ski has "known" us for yeeeeeeaaaars....knows are every move.

**** that, you guy's didn't sit down and say a little prayer, don't get overboard with your board morality now. it's far farrrr too late

I just said a prayer for you too, Ski.

Ski_Alta

10-11-2008, 12:46 PM

Tech - don't forget, Ski has "known" us for yeeeeeeaaaars....knows are every move.

I just said a prayer for you too, Ski.

seeing as i'm the so called stupid one here...
are you trying to say knows OUR every move?

Superman

10-11-2008, 07:57 PM

Fuck Kellen Winslow and the dropping of his balls.

CurtinofHurtin

10-11-2008, 08:22 PM

So has Quinn been admitted with ball-shaped bruises on his ass?

Superman

10-11-2008, 08:26 PM

Christ be with Kellen and his diseased balls.

rick723

10-11-2008, 08:59 PM

I know its PFT but this is so worth posting.

A league source tells us that the talk among the Browns is that tight end Kellen Winslow landed in the Cleveland Clinic because his balls swelled to the size of grapefruits.

(We think that technical term is testiculus coconutus.)

Actually, one explanation for the situation is a condition known as hyrdocele. And while the condition in itself isn’t serious, it could be a symptom of testicular cancer.

And, yeah, I squirmed in my chair the entire time I typed this.

I had a hydrocell and the Dr's were going NUTS (Intended) they were going to look for cancer. One doc said it isn't testecular cancer, that is a young mans desiese. Hope Winslow doesn't have that. OH btw, two days after they drained me I was back to running 3 to 5 miles a day

The Dawg Catcher

10-11-2008, 09:59 PM

Brady Quinn grabbed his package too hard this week...

Steel Conviction

10-11-2008, 10:22 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with Kellen's balls during this difficult time.

FAB802

10-11-2008, 10:25 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with Kellen's balls during this difficult time.

My guess is that you didn't read your post before you hit reply.

Superman

10-11-2008, 10:35 PM

I'm actually amazed that Kellen has balls. But not surprised that they're diseased.

FREAKofSTEEL08

10-11-2008, 10:44 PM

JMM

10-11-2008, 11:11 PM

I'm actually amazed that Kellen has balls. But not surprised that they're diseased.

Maybe its a yeast infection.

south dakota STEEL

10-11-2008, 11:36 PM

Maybe its a yeast infection.

yummmmmmm....yeast infection...

Idioteque

10-12-2008, 12:24 AM

Christ be with Kellen and his diseased balls.

indeed.....

DerbyCityBNGfan

10-12-2008, 01:35 AM

Kellen Winslow's Rapper Name:

Soldier Ballz

JEFFRO

10-12-2008, 01:43 AM

When I first heard that he was hospitalized for an unspecified illness I thought: "yeah, he's sick of losing!"

Whatever it is, he's probably out for the year as he's on one of my fantasy teams. I'm a player killer this year.

I tell you, I play FF and KW was no where in my fantasy when I was drafting. Could never be. There is no Brown, Bengal or Raven on my team and I am doing quite well.

So if he DOES have swollen testicles shouldn't he be admitted to a brothel?
It worked for me when I was in the Army!!!:D

crimsonsteel

10-12-2008, 02:20 AM

Per wikipedia -

Epididymitis is a medical condition in which there is inflammation of the epididymis (a curved structure at the back of the testicle in which sperm matures and is stored). This condition may be mildly to very painful, and the scrotum (sac containing the testicles) may become red, warm and swollen. It may be acute (of sudden onset) or rarely chronic.

Epididymitis is the most frequent cause of sudden scrotal pain. In contrast with men who have testicular torsion, the cremaster reflex (elevation of the testicle in response to stroking the upper inner thigh) is not altered. If the diagnosis is not entirely clear from the patient's history and physical examination, a Doppler ultrasound scan can confirm increased flow of blood to the affected epididymis.

Infection is the most common cause. In sexually active men, Chlamydia trachomatis is the most frequent causative microbe, followed by E. coli and Neisseria gonorrhoeae. In children, it may follow an infection in another part of the body (for example, a viral illness), or there may be an associated urinary tract anomaly. Another cause is sterile reflux of urine through the ejaculatory ducts. Antibiotics may be needed to control a component of infection. Treatment otherwise comprises pain killers or anti-inflammatory drugs and bed rest if necessary, and symptom control by resting the scrotum in a supported position

I feel for dude if he has swollen boys. I had this once. My wife who has given NATURAL childbirth three times told me that she'll never tell me again that I don't know what giving birth feels like. Hurt like a mofo!

Spike

10-12-2008, 02:31 AM

Browns | Winslow remains hospitalized
Sat, 11 Oct 2008 14:51:17 -0700
The Associated Press reports Cleveland Browns (http://www.kffl.com/team/13/nfl) TE Kellen Winslow (http://www.kffl.com/player/9286/nfl) (illness) was unable to practice Saturday, Oct. 11, and remains hospitalized due to an undisclosed illness. It is becoming more and more likely that he will not be able to play during the team's Week 6 game.

crimsonsteel

10-12-2008, 02:35 AM

If his nuts are swollen he's out 2 games minimum. You can't even lift weights for 2 weeks at best. How the heck could he take a hit? If that's what it is, he's out for a while.

Ski_Alta

10-12-2008, 10:41 AM

For the record:

huge swollen elephant balls is even better than anything i could have sat down and dreamed up. those prayers are really paying dividends

south dakota STEEL

10-12-2008, 11:43 AM

I got big balls, dirty big balls
he's got big balls, shes got big balls
but we got the biggest balls of them all

Ski_Alta

10-12-2008, 11:55 AM

yea?
well
My balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again

south dakota STEEL

10-12-2008, 12:03 PM

my balls are always bouncing
to the left and to the right
it's my belief, my big balls should be held every night

CurtinofHurtin

10-12-2008, 12:12 PM

If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got great balls of fire!

Ski_Alta

10-12-2008, 12:24 PM

i think i speak for all of us when i say

Amen

Superman

10-12-2008, 12:45 PM

If Christ wasn't with Kellen when he was dipping his wick into Clap-ridden skank pussy, why would His Holiness be with Kellen and his diseased gonads now?

Blind Official

10-19-2008, 11:49 PM

http://www.cleveland.com/browns/index.ssf/2008/10/staph_infection_sidelined_wins.html

Yes Virginia, it was a staph infection....

Ski_Alta

10-19-2008, 11:54 PM

let me just say right now....
the person who started the rumor of grapefruit sized balls would drink for free (on me) until further notice

tapeANaspirin2it

10-20-2008, 01:09 AM

http://www.cleveland.com/browns/index.ssf/2008/10/staph_infection_sidelined_wins.html

Yes Virginia, it was a staph infection....

What a whiny little bitch. He's all upset because the GM didn't personally call him while he was in the hospital. His position coach, the head coach, andl his teammates called him, but that's not good enough. Winslow feels disrespected because Savage didn't send him a fruit basket.

He then goes on to pat himself on the back for not making the dissing a public issue. He considered demanding a trade because he didn't get a Teddy bear and a lollipop from the boss. What a spoiled little child. Maybe he can go on Oprah and cry about it.

markymarc

10-20-2008, 08:13 AM

What a whiny little bitch. He's all upset because the GM didn't personally call him while he was in the hospital. His position coach, the head coach, andl his teammates called him, but that's not good enough. Winslow feels disrespected because Savage didn't send him a fruit basket.

He then goes on to pat himself on the back for not making the dissing a public issue. He considered demanding a trade because he didn't get a Teddy bear and a lollipop from the boss. What a spoiled little child. Maybe he can go on Oprah and cry about it.

I second that Tape. Although Winslow is correct in that they have to seriously do something about the staph infections in Cleveland. Pretty sad.